No, it's all of those damn
Smurfs(tm). Since the show went off the air, they needed employment, but
couldn't find any for "annoying small blue creatures". Intel was
having trouble with their new hamster prototypes (several times better than
a bunch of rats), so they cut a deal with the surviving cast (Papa Smurf
apparently passed away in the "great blue layoff" due to a
heartattack). Marketing didn't go for the "Smurf Inside" concept,
and after aptittude testing, it was determined that only Brainy Smurf could
be used. The engineers cloned Brainy (how hard could it be?) it only has a
tube for a digestive tract), so now there are millions of Brainy Smurf
trapped inside of ceramic carriers being fed nothing but raw current,
screaming "help! it's hot and stuffy in here!!!" in an electic
nasal-pinched voice.
Marketing relabeled their efforts as "Intel
Inside", but then noticed that some computer users were "hearing
voices" when they used "Intel Inside" machines. Engineering
then added a cooling fan to new units to muffle the noise, and sales
increased. To this day, Intel machines occasionally crash for no reason,
altough the crashes are ususally related to bad cooling
fans.
Smurfette travelled and tried to raise awareness in the press
of Brainy's plight, esp. in Hollywood, where she took some acting jobs. Her
attempts failed in Caifornia due to a nasty talent agent who misguided her
into the seemy porno industry, where she starred as "the blue squealing
girl" in several adult flicks. She retired after three years, moved to
the other side of the country, and is living anonymously as a housewife in
New Jersey.
The remaining cast, lacking Papa Smurf's direction, were
enslaved at the Intel chip factory, where they imprison Brainy clones daily.
Many blue tears are shed at the sealing of each
chip...
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